Still soaring

Yes, I have been a bad and wicked girl and haven't posted in over a month, going on two. Where have I been? What have I been doing? Talking with my Love. Yes that is right, I have spent most days out of nearly two months talking as much as possible with my beloved Deimos. How are we doing? He's making plans to come meet me. That's right, all the talking and stuff we have done, has led us deeper into love. Why, because we trust each other. Time for a little rant, Trust isn't about knowing the other person wouldn't do anything you didn't like. It's about knowing the other person cares for you and doesn't want to hurt you even when they do. It's about letting them know you love them in as many ways as possible each and every day. It's about loving a person for who and what they are not for what you want them to be. Neither of us tries to make the other fit into preconcieved notions of what we "always" wanted. Neither of us needs to. Deimos is already in the way he acts, and talks everything I could ever have thought to ask for in a man. Is he perfect? according to me he is. Seriously there are a few very minor points where we disagree. I believe Polyamoury to be a preferrable state, and he feels he is a one woman man. Can I live with this, yes. I'll probably tease him every now and again, But on the whole Yes, I can cope with it. Can he live with my veiwpoint. "I won't cage you." That's a direct quote. "I love who you are." that's another one. he fell in love with me for who and what I am and is wise enough to know that attempting to change me would probably destroy the girl he loves. That is a risk neither of us wants to take. Love is a very complicated matter, but at it's heart is this one thing. We both acknowledge that we fell in love with who the other person was. We enjoy how that makes us feel and desire to grow closer together not further apart. Each and every day we choose to let ourselves continue loving one another. we find our common grounds and discuss our differences, and decide each day whether we want to continue pursuing this relationship, and the flame has not died. Far from it Our passion for one another grows. The wings of love continue to bear us aloft, and Deimos and I would rather love each other and choose to love each other, over the alternative with which we are all to familiar. It comes down to love being a choice we make. We enjoy the passion, the fire, the fun, the long deep conversations, the fun flirty sweet nothing whispering interludes, of which latter there are ever so many! Long sweet passion filled days and nights. But each time we face the choice. and each time we choose each other over returning to the misery we knew apart from one another. i cried today, literally, actually broke down in tears at the mere thought that I could go back to living as I did before Deimos came into my life. I wept. When i spoke to him I did not beg him to tell me he would always be there for me, I begged him to be open and honest with me about whether he wanted to go. He doesn't. He said so, and I believe him. In my opinion at this time if you can doubt your love, it is not love. if someone can lie about those heart feelings then what they feel is not love and if you can leave someone based on anything, ANYTHING, except thier choice to leave you. It is NOT LOVE. Love is knowing a person and caring for a person, and who or what that person is. If that person feels they need something you let them have it, get it for them, whatever it takes to meet your loves need. and you trust them to come back to you. to love you as you love them. Love is a freedom, a choice, a chance, and a responsibility. And it does lift you up so very high. I love you Deimos. Love you Love you love you.