True love?

A concept I didn't believe existed. I thought in my ignorance that love was tolerating the follies of your friends. That is a good basis for a partnership if one needs a partner and hasn't found a lifemate. The line however is thin yet undeniable. with friends there are aggravations. Things one is not so fond of, things one really doesn't like, and the degree of friendship is how well one can tolerate how much of their personailty and behavior. Good friends, best friends even, have minimal conflict. things they can just keep quiet about and never stir the waters because the friendship is more important. True love, as I am finding out with my Beloved Deimos is so much more than that. His little quirks are endearing not aggravating, even things I would not tolerate in other men I find appealing in him. Jealousy is one I have mentioned before. His manifests as a desire to keep me safe, even from himself. He does not get mad at me for being who I am, he gets mad at himself for not being able to keep the promise he made. I had told him what I was before we agreed to date. He said it was ok, then found it wasn't. I admit I had half expected such, and was not overly surprised, but I was stunned to realize I didn't mind. that shocked the hell out of me. Friendship accepts and tolerates the aggravations. Love trancends them. Love does not see inadequacies, not because it is blind as is so pften purported, but because it accepts these as part and parcel of one's love, and loves all of that person. I just asked him and he said so that I could sleep with an entire football team and come back and he would still love me, would love me more for doing what I felt I needed to. and I believe him. That is LOVE. and the difference is impossible to see before one finds a true life mate, a True Love. Happy hunting, Ashes.

Falling, Floating, Flying.

Well, it's going on six months now, that my love and I have been together. What can I add now? Only perhaps to reiterate that it is choice that keeps us together. each of us choosing individually and together to stay with the other. To stay in love. Yes, there are challenges. Moments when I fear, and doubt, and wonder, but, always he is there, holding my hand, whispering wors of cmfort and joy into my ears. Assuring me That I am not a burden, but a delight. The most important thing I have learned thus far is to trust. To interrpret his words in the best light possible. Too many misunderstandings can occur otherwise. a simple passing thought can breed ill will if allowed to grow and dominate one's thoughts. I have learned to be wary of those who say "Shhh, don't cry, everything will be alright." they will not be so patient with recurring bouts of tears. They have not reached the understanding that my Deimos has, that the storms are part and parcel of the sweetness of love. Feelings of love and tennderness will be dammed along with feelings of pain or grief untold. suffering allowed to fester for want of being let out. Anger unspoken. all these things must be discussed, aired in a caring, loving environment. Misunderstandings, when one's heart says something that could be interpretted badly, assume he meant the most positive interrpretation and didn't consider how poorly it could be taken, when in doubt, ask, do not accuse, but ask, gently. Men like gentleness. Recriminations breed resentment. Putting a person male, female, or otherwise on the defensive can never lead to harmony. Open, honest discussion, asking not accusing. and trusting the other to try and understand are the foundations of a lasting relationship. My deimos does this, he trusts me. He gives me leave to be myself trusting me not to hurt him. The more he does it the more I want, all on my own without his asking, to please him. to be worthy of that faith. In truth the more I fall for him, the deeper I go, the more often I find myself wondering how I lived as I did before I met him. How for instance did I bear the constant stream of dissapointment? The broken promises, the half truths, the social dance around inconvenient realities. Interesting how without those inconvenient realities we might have ended up yet another tale of true love found years too late. I'd probably have been married with children hitting adolescence. Not the time to be finding one's life mate. So, yeah, I am as much in love as ever, more so even. More in love than I have ever been before and wanting it to last forever. I will do anything in my power to make it last, and it is well within my power to moderate my tones and atttitudes to reflect the person I want to be. All my love Deimos!, Ashes.