Realizations

Ah Beloved, I know now why you felt awful this evening. Understanding came to me less than ten minutes after I signed off. I could see it in your eyes beloved, but it cannot pass my lips just now. I will address instead another issue. Jealousy, as you wrote in your own blog my love, and envy.
Some other reader to whom I have explained not so much may wonder why I and therefore you, owing to my explanation, consider jealousy worse than envy. It is simple. Envy can be of a general type of item as opposed to a specific. and it hurts no one if a person desires to have one like that. It is simple, though perhaps not easy to go and find or make or cause to have made an oject like that one. Envy is wrong when taken to the extreme of desiring the one someone else has. If any one is familiar with the song "Jesse's girl" that is a case of Envy gone seriously wrong. Jealousy, is the desire to keep what you have out of the hands of others. There is one instance where this is a good thing, and that is the spur to protect/defend what you prize, up to and including your life. However in our modern world there is little cause for such, and so the emotion becomes highly anachronistic and breeds ill will. Especially when taken to the extreme that you have to have more and better everything than any one else. This is wrong on so many levels it would be difficult to enumerate them all, but I am going to give it a try. If you happen to think of one I haven't mentiooned please feel free to message me about it.
To begin with no human being needs more food than they can consume. Many of us consume more than we need to as it is, and frequently complain about the resultant discomfort, and excess tissue. This is listed as gluttony among the seven deadly sins of christian scripture. Now gluttony is really only a problem for someone besides yourself, if you are eating the food, not because you want the food, or like it, but to keep someone else from having it. whether it's just one certain kind or food in general. Now how close does Glutony sound to the more general jealosy? Looked at this way we may begin to see who jealousy hurts. Also jealousy over anything breeds envy, one person wanting to keep it away from another will usually serve to make that second individual want it even more. the more people you keep it away from and let know you're keeping it from, the more people will become angry with you, lusting after the oject or objects in question more than they might have otherwise. Yet another way this harms people comes into play when the object of this selfish affection is a person. then the jealous "lover" has to not only keep everyone away from them, they must also keep that person from reaching out to anyone else. A side effect of this is that the object becomes watched and mistrusted, and even the most innocent of actions is misinterpreted by the jealous one. Who enraged at the misbehavior Punishes the object of affection alienating one who might well have loved them. This sort of Jealousy or need to possess can not be called Love, though it all too often is.
I know I have not really begun to scratch the surface of this subject, but in the interests of not trying to publish a book here. I will close with this statement. Love is the antithesis of all of the above. Love cares for other people, wishes to take care of them not keep from them what they need. Love makes sure everyone has enough to the best of it's ability. Think of Mothers offering food to children and guests alike. lastly Love shares what it has, love desires everyone to enjoy what it has or the cause of the love, and love feels horrible when it sees someone suffering want. Love seeks to fill all such needs and wants and sometimes finds itself in conflict with itself on that account, but only when that love is not reciprocated, or gets tangled up in what one has learned is good and proper and may once have been but is no longer. Real Love is about sharing the glorious bounty that surrounds us, caring for all people as much as possible, understanding differences and making allowances for those differences. With love in our hearts we can take on any burden knowing that our efforts will be appreciated and help will be forthcoming. With love for all things we could heal the wounds of our wartorn and disease ravaged world. But first we must teach ourselves to love it. To care for it. and ultimately Loving and caring for one another we meet our own needs best because all love and care for us too.
Yes Beloved Deimos, within this rambling post is the answer I found. Seek with an open heart and you will find it, but I cannot tell it straight out. It's an answer each must find for themselves. I am yours, and I love you, always forever.